I have this great idea. I figure the government could kill two birds with one stone and save a lot of money by combining car ads with car crash ads. Think about it. The first half of the ad would talk about how great the Mazda 6 is with its Ipod Connectivity and its powerful accelerator and brake and all that shit. In the second half of the ad, the model driving the car hits a cyclist and the music turns from "Bittersweet Symphony" by the Verve or whatever to some morbid Dido dirge as we watch paramedics desperately try to revive the cyclist, who it turns out is a child and whose arteries are pumping geisers of blood in all directions. The model who was showing off the Mazda 6 would break down in tears and we'd cut to forty years later when she's in a retirement home and still haunted by flashbacks of that accident. Why am I NOT in advertising?! I should host the Gruen Transfer. Bring it on!
Seriously though, the Mazda 6 is a good car. It's our family car and I guess if I had to get run over, I would choose to be run over by either that or a Dolorian. Or anything other than whatever the fuck Bryan Cranston drives in Breaking Bad. That is the most teachery car I have ever seen.
Actually, if I had to get run over I'd choose a steam roller. That has to be quick, right? As long as you go under head first. Also I could get them to frame my two-dimensional remains with a caption underneath: "Remember: Go under headfirst."
No comments:
Post a Comment