I had to eavesdrop on a conversation today. I was in Script for Performance and because the topic of the week was documentary theatre they wanted us to use something someone had actually said to write a script (like when people record interviews). So I went and camped out on the South Lawn next to two British girls with my Ipod earphones in to disguise the fact that they had my full attention. At first I was worried they wouldn't give me anything interesting to write about because they were having a boring conversation about university and their social lives. Nothing particularly insightful. I considered finding a different group to invade.
...and then they brought up their sex lives, not just casually but in extreme detail. Suddenly I was hearing all about what they got up to with boys and how they lost their virginity etc. It was so unexpected that I nearly had a heart attack. After that they started giggling and rolling around on the grass like they were high on some blissful drug, still describing their experiences in disturbing detail. By then I'd decided I had enough to bring to class. Uni is such a fucking weird place.
So anyway... it's Easter time. Good Friday is tomorrow and I'm going to stick a sign on my door saying "do not wake before 1pm" because I'm sick of getting up early. But that's besides the point. The story of Easter is a long and epic one. Jesus died on the cross and somewhere else a mutant rabbit was so touched by his sacrifice he decided to wrap his excrement in foil and put it in a basket to be distributed to everyone in the world once a year. Unlike Santa he doesn't have a sleigh so he has to use public transport to reach every house in the world. Suffice it to say that every year he has one very long night. But he knows he must keep going because otherwise the son of God will have died in vain.
Also he's really good at convincing adults he doesn't exist. The kids all know he's real but adults say he isn't. Of course we say that - it's what he wants us to think. But rest assured he's as real as the Carbon Tax.
So that's the story of Easter. I may have inserted a few bits here and there but you can call them theories because the real story makes no fucking sense. I understand that Jesus died and at one point he bled water or something but where does the rabbit fit into the tale? Where does chocolate? But I'm hardly complaining because I would sell my soul for a shit-ton of chocolate and Easter is one of the few days of the year when you're supposed to stuff your face with it.
Happy Easter, and may your blood-sugar levels remain within safe limits.
The end.
Poor Niall, I should`nt really respond. The Christians were hijacked in 325 AD by the Roman Church under sun-god worshipping Constantine, who following, the Babylonian traditions of pagan religions introduced the originally Egyptian practice of Easter eggs. See Ezekiel 8. The godess Ostera was worshipped as was Isis and later Mary whom the papists called the "Queen of Heaven" The real truth is in a free book on the net entitled "Two Babylon's" by Alexander Hi slop, specifically written about the worship of idols in Catholicism: it ignores the fact that the protestant tradition originated from the same source.
ReplyDeleteIts for you to find out and not for me to tell you. I still believe in Judeo-Christianity (not Jehovah`s!) on the basis that Jesus was Jewish or common sense.
I also believe from common sense that He must return to end religious confusion or if He does not, then he does not exist. That simple. Since I am fascinated by prophecy and can see it unfolding the latest date for a return is 2033.."within two days" meaning two thousand years from the death. I think it will be much sooner than this but don`t know the answer??
Furthermore the tribulation before his return looks like happening and the Jeremiah and Ezekiel prophetic wars in the mid east look like happening with Syria and Iran. In Ez 7.14.."They have blown the trumpet...but none goeth to battle:for My wrath is upon all the multitude thereof..." Translated the battle has not started yet as consequences are feared and men suffering "baldness" is a prophetic reference to the effects of radiation.
ANWAY...those two birs sound like fun. You should`ve spoken to them!
Jules