IKEA

Why is it that the moment I step foot inside IKEA I feel tired and depressed? Does anyone else have that problem? What is it about that place that gives off such a morbid atmosphere? Is it the size, the dimly lit labyrinth of furniture and other boring home decoration stuff? Does it remind me of the stress of moving houses? Does it remind me of all those Saturdays spent following my mum around looking at displays? I think it's all of the above as well as the way it destroys your perception of reality. There's no sense of time in that place, especially after you've been in there for hours with picky parents. And after a while it seems like the illusion of all those display rooms begins to soak into your mind and you wish all those people would leave so you can collapse on one of the display beds and sleep, or read a display book. Or maybe turn on the display TV and watch a display movie. Seriously, if I need help I have to ask the guy at the information desk whether it's just a display information desk. Is the playground where you dump your kids just a display playground full of display children and if so where do they take your real children? Maybe they give you a set display children when you return to pick them up. Maybe the car park is just a display car park and that's why you can never find a space, because they fill it with display cars. The ticket machine never works because it's a display ticket machine. Maybe IKEA itself is just a display store and the real IKEA is out there somewhere getting tips on how to run its stores based on what happens at the display stores. That would certainly explain why service is so awful. I have no doubt in my mind that the exchanges desk is just a display exchanges desk because they don't exchange anything. My house, the one I'm sitting in right now writing this blog could just be a giant IKEA display home. My suburb a display suburb. The city of Melbourne a display city. My parents display parents. This laptop a display laptop. THIS BLOG A DISPLAY BLOG. FRANKENCAT A DISPLAY CAT. THE WORLD A DISPLAY WORLD. THE SOLAR SYSTEM A DISPLAY SOLAR SYSTEM. THE MILKY WAY A DISPLAY GALAXY. THE UNIVERSE A DISPLAY UNIVERSE.

Well that's it. I don't know what's real anymore.