Watery Shenanigans

It's fun to be ironically controversial. A good crack about women and feminism, or even just a casual Holocaust joke can be very cathartic (don't worry I never make fun of the Holocaust - everything else gets a mention though). It's always good to remind women that they couldn't always vote in a mock mysognistic way, or ask for a sandwich etc. But it can also be taken the wrong way. The other day at work I had to run out back because every single female in the store got fed up and started throwing corn chips at me. Maybe my sense of humour needs a re-tool.

Anyway, yesterday I went to that science cruise party I mentioned in an earlier post. It was awesome. Drinks were dirt cheap which is actually pretty dangerous, especially considering we were on a body of water with nothing but a waist-high rail to protect us from icy death. But I don't think anyone died. I wanted to reenact the famous scene from Titanic because when you're on a boat it's like "why the hell not!" but someone got in trouble from the Captain for doing that exact thing so I'm glad my friends and I couldn't decide who was going to be Rose and who was going to be Jack. I did manage to shout "iceberg!"every ten minutes just to freak people out. But even when they're drunk, people are still smart enough to realise it's unlikely for there to be chunks of ice sitting in Port Philip Bay.

Next time I go to a fancy dress party I need to dress up as a security guard. I saw a bunch of them cutting through the bar queue to get to the kitchen, or galley, or whatever, and it made me feel very inadequate in my jumbo afro and barely-sticky fake moustache. I actually complimented one of them on his excellent choice of costume, praising his ability to secure quick beverages despite the chaotic scrum of cats, devils, mariachis, pikachus, pirates, Wiggles and dinosaurs. He looked at me like I was an idiot which is fair enough because I am, and thanked me gruffly.

I'm surprised no one got seasick or dangerously hammered or a combination of the two. It should have been raining vomit at that party.

Good times, though. Good times.